I heard Andy Grammer’s song, 85, the other day for the very first time. The words of this song really resonated with me and caused me to stop and think about my priorities and how I want to live my life.
I don’t wanna be eighty-five, singing “Whoa, no, I think I missed it, I was chasing money” I don’t wanna be eighty-five, singing “Whoa, no, I got a big house, but my heart is ugly” You can’t take it with ya, and your whip ain’t gon’ miss ya So wipe off that window, see the bigger picture now I don’t wanna be eighty-five, singing “Whoa, no, I think I missed it, I was chasing money”
I want a life (I want a life) I cannot pay for I want a life (I want a life) I can’t afford to live without I want a life (I want a life) I cannot pay for I want a life (I want a life) I can’t afford to be missing out
You see for most people life is one big chase. We’re always chasing more money to buy the bigger house, the nicer car, the newest iPhone, and the most stylish wardrobe. But here’s the thing about that – the chase never stops. When we get the bigger house, we have to fill it with more stuff until we “outgrow” it too. When we get the nicer car, someone dents it. When we get the newest iPhone, they come out with another one. When we think we are up to par with our fashion style, something new comes out and what we have is out of style.
You see the chase never ends if what we are chasing are the material things of this world. If we are just trying to keep up with what society deems we must have and buy to be successful or popular or happy. Most of us will never make enough money to keep up with this kind of chase. At the end of the day, chasing this kind of life leaves us exhausted, unfulfilled, unhappy, depressed and for most of us, dead broke. We waste what we do have on the desire for what we don’t.
About 10 years ago, we were living in a modest 3 bedroom home with an office and a game room upstairs. We had a beautiful pool and backyard that was there when we moved in. We would often drive around an upscale neighborhood in the town we lived in and thought if we could ever live in there, then we had made it and we would be SO happy. With two growing kids now, we had just “outgrown” our current home.
Fast forward to 2016. We decided to start looking and also thought about building a new home. It was then when we found a home in our dream neighborhood that we could afford with our combined incomes. One that we had actually walked through months earlier! It was brand new too. We ended up buying it and that was it, we had made it in life and this new home was going to make us so happy. We ended up putting in a pool about a year later too. If you’ve never put in a pool, take it from me, it is very expensive!
Our home is very beautiful. We’ve invested a lot of time and money into it and it has been a wonderful place for my children to grow up and make memories. But with all the good, I also have a lot of regrets. We could most likely have had our previous home close to paid off by now and no debt on a pool loan. There’s also the added stress of if someone loses their job, having to pay the mortgage from savings.
The grass isn’t always greener, that saying is so very true. There comes a time when you have to look at what you are chasing and decide if you are truly chasing the right things in life or not. When you have to take an honest look at your life and decide if it’s worth spending so much time and effort on just trying to keep up with the ways and the habits of this world or if there is something more, something deeper in your soul you could be chasing. For me, getting older and growing and evolving in my perspective on life and how I want my life to matter while I’m on this earth has had a way of showing me that I was busy chasing things more than experiences, more than freedom.
These “things” don’t make you happy. If you depend on the next big thing you are chasing to make you happy or fulfill your greatest desires, then you will be endlessly disappointed. Happiness doesn’t come from buying that bigger house or getting a new job. Happiness comes from joy and joy comes from being in alignment with your true life purpose. Joy comes from being present in the moments of your life that matter, no matter how small. Joy comes from love, kindness and respect – for ourselves, for others, for the earth and all creation.
When the song says “I want a life I cannot pay for, I want a life I cannot afford to live without, I want a life I cannot pay for, I want a life I cannot afford to be missing out”, I felt this deep within my soul. This is the kind of life that cannot be bought. This is the kind of life no amount of money could make for you. This is the kind of life that we cannot afford to miss.
No one at death’s door ever wishes they could go back and make more money, live beyond their true means or climb higher up that corporate ladder. No, what they regret is all of the time they spent chasing things and not truly living. They may have been alive, but they weren’t living. They regret the moments that passed them by because they were too busy to pay attention, to be in the moment. They regret not learning that if you spend your entire life chasing things, you never stop and see that everything we actually need to live a fulfilled, joyous life is already inside of us. We just have to slow down long enough to find it. We have to do the work on and for ourselves, whatever that means for each one of us, but we can all live a life of freedom from the chase.
We can’t go back and there is no reset button for life, but what we can do is move forward. We have the power to change our thoughts, our habits, our actions and our perspective on what living a life we cannot afford to miss means to each of us. We don’t decide where we start in life, but we absolutely define where we end up and the kind of life that we live.
I know when I’m 85, the only thing I want to be chasing is which mountain I will climb next, what impact I can still make on this world and who I can still inspire…
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all. ~ Oscar Wilde
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